Food for thought

So I've been thinking about my relationship with food and I don't think it's been very healthy (so to speak!). These are some of the things I've been told:
"there are starving children...eat all your food"
"I've cooked this especially for you, make sure you eat it all"
"we've paid for this meal, make sure you eat it all"
"just have another piece, make sure you eat it all"
"make sure you eat it all"
"make sure you eat it all"........
And so forth and the like.
So I think, no I know I feel guilty if I don't eat everything on my plate, even when I've dished it up myself, or even if i don't really like it. And I especially feel guilty if I don't eat everything if I've gone out for a meal. I've poked things in even when I've been so full that I've made myself feel sooo sick. But having to actually think about it has made me have a mini break through. I went away last night to sort out something (a whole nother story) and while I didn't feel like going out for dinner as I had bubba with me I ordered Thai home delivery and got extra veggies. I didn't eat the rice, well ok I had 3 small forks of it. And I felt full after only half the dish so I put it aside and didn't eat the rest, though I must admit I did eat the rest as a snack in the morning! Then for breakfast I ordered a yummy dish of mushrooms on sourdough toast with spinach and 1 poached egg and honey ricotta. I got full about half way and even though it was pretty yummy I stopped. Yep I really did.
So I'm a little proud of that. I've just got to keep it up.
I've also bought some pretty dessert plates and I'm now using them as my dinner plates so that I'll have smaller size dinners.
Well it's a start and I'm sure I have a lot longer way to go.

Scared-ie cat

So I went home to Hobart for almost 3 weeks in February and my diet went to hell, and I put on the little bit of weight i'd managed to lose. Very disappointed is an understatement. I was shattered and it's made things seem all that much harder since then. But I need to get up, dust myself off and start over. To get a bit of motivation I've been reading through some posts from a friends blog and it's been good to read, very eye opening, heart felt and something good to read.it's made me ask questions like....
What is holding me back?
What makes me eat?
What am I scared of?
Why can't I just seem to do it?
What do I really feel about myself?

I'm not sure what the answers to these are, but I'm going to mull over them.